Some time on my own

Spending my time just walking through London, these are some of the sights I come across.

ThamesHyde Park Corner Hyde Park

Green Park

After visiting some art exhibitions and walking through the parks on Monday, I ended my day reading brochures and writing some notes by the candlelight in a little Italian restaurant. My humble travellers dinner... who am I kidding!? I really struggled eating that whole pizza all by myself and I even finished it off with a proper tiramisu. It was a good treat and a perfect way to end my day: Surrounded by all the noise and the people in the restaurant, just wrapped in my own thoughts, enjoying my own company before I took the bus home from across the street.

My friend, London

London and I had a bit of time to bond. I had a serious chat with him and we have come to an agreement...

See, I was paging back to a few of my first posts on this blog and I realised how everything has changed in the past three months. I look at the previous pictures and I see myself as a traveller: Traveling through the streets of London for the first time and everything is new and exciting. I look terrible, because I'm living out of a suitcase, wearing the same clothes over and over, not having the time or place to style my hair properly or put on a bit of make-up. Feeling very unsure about everything, living in a low budget hostel, missing home, missing my comfort zone, but enjoying every moment of it, because everything was one big adventure. Today is exactly 116 days since my first arrival in London and everything is different. I have a home with my own bed and my own space, I have a routined life with a job and an income, I've come to know the streets of London and became used to the culture and the surroundings - I have created a new comfort zone for myself. I am still missing home, but I have become accustomed to it.

My circumstances have changed completely, but that is not important. The thing that has changed the most is my mindset. I've read through my post, Contradicting my self-image, again and realised how much confusion and disorientation I am facing in my life. A lot of it may be caused by pride and bitterness and because I have subconciously formed expectations of my life, that have not come true the way I expected it to be. I have thought about these things a lot and realised that I will not find the answers unless I change my current mindset completely. I have come to England to take a break, to see places and do things that I would otherwise never have done, to free myself from all the barriers that kept me from living my life to the fullest. I broke away from everything that was me, in order to find a new me, and at the end, what do I find myself doing? I was trying so hard to find some instant answers, that I was simply closing myself off to the exact thing I was looking for. Instead of letting myself be free and just enjoying my current day-to-day life, I found myself worrying about life, about the future, about my career and about who I am and what I am doing here, becoming more and more trapped in the cage of my thoughts and my own little space.

So, I decided to spend some quality time with London and the two of us seem to get along quite well after all. The past few days I have been focusing on taking some time off to see the parks and open spaces, while the last of the warm autumn sun is still with us. I have made a promise to London: That I will stop blaming him for my unfulfilled expectations and my bitterness in life, and start enjoying everything he has to offer me while time is on my side. And what do you know... my dear new friend has shown me a little bit of myself in his streets and the parks. From now on whenever I have the time, even if it's just for an hour or two before I go to work, I will spend some time with London.

The footpaths and walkways in Rotherhithe, where I live.

Southwark Park

I want to go back to being the traveller, taking one day at a time, living life as an adventure. Everytime I have a little money to spare, I want to spend it on short trips outside of London. It's all about having different experiences, seeing different places, not about luxury and comfort. The rest of the time will be spent taking walks, going to exhibitions and markets, experiencing, exploring life. Although I've become used to my everyday surroundings in London, there is still so much to see and do in this city. The possibilities are never ending.

Musicians

This was a sad picture. An excellent violinist, standing outside Embankment Station at midnight with an electrical violin and a small monitor. He obviously doesn't even have enough money to take care of his violin properly. I was wondering how he gets such a beautiful sound out of his instrument with that broken bow. The few hair that's still left on his bow is held together by masking tape. How does a musician with so much talent and potential end up here? Walking along the streets at midnight, you can hear the sounds of musicians on the sidewalks and bridges. Trumpets, accordians, guitars, violins... sad little tunes floating through the dark, echoeing over the water of the river. It makes me wonder: Is it a lack of ambition or a lack of opportunity that drives them to the streets? Maybe it's just the pleasure of playing their music, anywhere, anytime, dedicating their talent to the night.

(I turned the camera upside down again. Sorry! I always forget!)

Thoughts

Thoughts scribbled on a piece of paper during another boring shift at work... in my mother tongue :)

Seer Oe

Ek kyk na die wereld deur baie oe.

Elke dag 'n nuwe bril,

maar elkeen laat my visie blur.

Daar is geen helder beeld.



Ek probeer my oe toeknyp,

vir dae lank aaneen,

maar kort voor lank moet ek weer loer...

Daar is geen verandering.



Ek neem my oe ver op reis.

Elke dag 'n nuwe beeld,

maar die fokus bly steeds effe dof.

Geen lense is voldoende.



Ek soek steeds na 'n ander bril.

'n Ander visie moet bestaan,

maar elke soeke lei net weer

na dieselfde troebel beelde.



Vandag maak ek my oe oop

En sien 'n nuwe beeld

In die verte is 'n helder lig

Wat net-net wil verdwyn.



Die nuwe bril laat my oe pyn.

Die inspanning is groot.

My oe raak dit nog gewoond

Maar die moontlikheid is daar.